transcript

Audiovisual Cultures episode 109 – I’ve Been Walking with Janet Sternburg

Los Angeles-based writer and photographer Janet Sternburg talks through her creative practices and producing the photography and essay book I’ve Been Walking (Distanz Verlag: Berlin, 2021) which was her own way of exploring the city and seeing things in a new way during pandemic lockdowns.
http://www.janetsternburgphoto.com
http://www.janetsternburgphoto.com/IveBeenWalking.html
http://janetsternburg.com/
This episode was recorded on 5 November 2021 using Zoom and edited by Paula Blair with Audacity.
Music: commonGround by airtone (c) copyright 2018 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/58703
hello dear listeners welcome to the official cultures stuff podcast where we take into different areas of the parts media and creative industries I'm Paul the planner and in this episode I have the most fascinating conversation which I hope is one of many ways Janet stern Burke as you hear Janet is a writer and photographer based in Los Angeles we talk mainly about hi Janet came to photography website really planning to be back in nineteen ninety yes as a mode of expression or thinking or being in the world while walking while going for EMS walks around cities we get into a quite a lot of detail and thinking through what those acts of walking and photographing in teal and trivial butts we really only scratched the surface so I hope China will return when her next project comes to fruition this timer me in the talking up bites her photographic NSA back I've been walking and some of her earlier work but she's already working on the same sets haven't revealed themselves to her as we record I must say I feel so lucky to be making these kinds of connections and I'm really glad that you can share them with me as well I hope you learn as much as both down and I do from this talk actually that's a really nice thing is that down it felt that that was important for her to say that she really learned something from talking to me today and I love that I love that this is happening on the show before hand you over a massive thanks to our glorious past trends over at Peachtree on dot com forward slash AP cultures but he supports and all the ways I struggle really to keep this go weighing just a quick reminder as well that all the important links for this episode and if you want to become somebody help site to show those are all in the show notes for every you're accessing this episodes if you hear any binding a toll in the pocket cranes I think I should manage she cried the mites but %HESITATION if you hear any binding or popping noises I'm recording this on the face of November twenty twenty one I live in England it's going moderate there with fireworks and all sorts might make her next door neighbors it's very quiet and there because they have a beautiful Kali and he's not been having a fun week so you know I I think they've taken I think a lot of the dog owning places and hence the her his or her off somewhere else having a break so apologies if there any banging noises are coming sorry that I haven't managed to get out of a spot it's not time of the year and I thought it was worth mentioning I was going to leave this until a quieter day but I'm on my own may as well do something I am a bit scratchy because I've been talking all day I can't concentrate on anything else so I thought get just get this done while I'm while over there anyway just thanks so much for listening and please do check out John it's website on her backs and perhaps even days out while you listen to us describing them enjoy this episode Janet Sternberg I'm so delighted you're joining me today on the official cultures you've been trying to set this up for a while a nicer finally saying our recording and it's just such a pleasure and an honor to have you very warm welcome have completely lovely and that yes we have had a back and forth before we finally got to this but I think it's been good enough where you're not we send each other things we talked a little bit from our respective homes you in Ireland now I'm in England's women get enjoy so I have a sort of stealing that not even this is not that formal it feels simpatico nice so Janet you got loads of experience I think we're mainly going to talk about your more recent photography years got it back I just a moment cold iced and walking and photography and I say back but you've been a writer for a long time he's been a researcher you park Jan Feldman media and all sorts of areas so you just got a wealth of experience that we can learn from and I'm so excited to get into a lot of issues that come up straight your work today would you be happy to give my listeners a bit of an overview about you and how you would like to describe yourself without be all right it would be although it presents a problem because I've really never been in England at school getting myself no no I'm quite serious I I I think it's actually a bit of an issue because people who do multiple things they either have to condense themselves into a single description and that makes people happy because they know how cool you are it's it's clear however if you do a number of different things often more or less at the same time it reminds me of something that I read that I find very still interesting there was a writer whose name at this moment is %HESITATION escaping me but it will come back to me and from the nineteen forties who was both a photographer and writer and she did a very beautiful book of photography on the left side of the page and a novel on the right and there was every page and it was not illustrative it was just somehow it just the right oblique angle to each up there and he went back to his publisher for hopefully a new book and the publisher said the world is not ready for an ambi dexterous person maybe said writer maybe he said artist but you take the point and I think it is not working many many more people especially those a lot younger than I am in fact doing multiple things that are not self conscious about it since you asked I am and your what as said to describe myself well I think it well in terms of work although there are many other angles to come into about myself but in terms of work ethic of actually %HESITATION sensibility maybe is better than engaging work I think I've always been a writer I mean was a little girl my mother says March first workers work I don't know if that's true but it's a nice will lead she started fairly wide mother gesture when I was six years old I wrote something a barrister to say what it was but I will I've gone to she's fantasia movie remember and I was so thrilled by it that I came back and asked my mother for paper and pencil the reason I'm embarrassed that wasn't true really that much my first writing was movie Curtis it was more about how much I loved it actually so that's been my intention given many many years when I ran away from that identity I do other things but underneath the beating heart has always been the word and I've always been interested in the word and the image and I've made some forays in that direction I did are still many years ago on the writer Virginia will short term for public television and there was an actor who is evoking Welch not literally playing her but there is quite beautiful landscape not England like England and voice over work courage and after I did that I realized that there has to be a better way of doing it because the visual and the words for each other your room and there were too many maybe like I'm doing now but too many rich and so trying to solve the problem of imagine board is another feature of my life and I think I might have made a real attempt at it recently with this new book we can come back to that but to finally end up the saga not really in nineteen ninety eight I finished a book and it is due to ten years in the writing which is a little bit much but then again you asked me to describe it so I'd like to try to get it right and I was in a very funny position that was new to me the book was set in the past historical and personal and I looked up and I couldn't see what was around me what was in the present I could see it but I couldn't feel it is something and the upshot of this is I went to our second home in Mexico and set myself a little practice of walking every day without a goal without thinking and I saw a window and I liked what was in it and I thought I want to take a photograph first time I've ever thought that and %HESITATION I went to the town square and the only thing that was available was a disposable camera and a lot more to say about that if you want but my life since nineteen ninety eight has been very much photographer writer writer photographer and whatever else you want to add in to talk where she is leading the pack small that's really informative Janet I think that actually sets and it gives us a really fell picture and we can start getting into some details fire when I was reading straight that piece that you're talking about where you describe all of this happening it really struck me that you were because it's very autobiographical and it feels that your photography and stop going that direction as well it's a way of writing the south it's a way of reflecting your style and I feel that there's a lot of South Park teacher coming three and very subtle ways your photography so this wondering if it's not something you have been thinking about aids or what you thought up I thought well I route to be honest I'd love to know how you see that but I will respond briefly I think the through line through all of this is that the way I'm in the world is as a Polish you know they can sound so highfalutin you know %HESITATION %HESITATION addict this poetic that I don't mean it that way it's just how I feel and see the world in terms of being moved I don't know how else to shared without sounding good day and I've always loved autobiography in general not memoir I don't like that would warn bitch because I refused to call one of my books memoir which is sort of stupid because it you know booksellers remember when they were bookstores shelves they didn't know where it went but I really felt memoir and I've said this before so excuse me if that sounds canned but it's me more me me me me me me me we are no that doesn't interest me what does interest me is all the levels and prismatic facets of the cells the cells third time inspection history and connections to other kinds of thinking so I kind of think that everything I've done in church home grocery is as a visual Polish and I think as such the images reveal that fashion having said that I would like to know how you seen an element of an autobiographical self in the work can I ask you of course yes absolutely when I read your text and when I look at your images it comes across to me that it's high you see ed Scriven ye the salvinia ways that you can start seeing boasts the world's and yourself and the world that's really what strikes me by a lot of your images I really love you telling your own story a bite hi you think him to begin dating tests it's really spontaneous it's very much you know you you strike out you go for a walk with site a real practice beside it direction was IT destination you're just doing the acts of walking so it's quite performative in life I'm not sense and I'm really interested in life performance artist while so it kind of takes me dying not area at it's sort of a bite life and arts and arts and life and about play and not really planning anything but spontaneity rose you know contingency rose and that idea of you just felt so compelled suddenly to take a photograph and to just make an image either forty receding I think that's where to me you're documenting how you were saying something out last time that's what you felt compelled to day and then doctor finding right where can I get a camera and so he got a little disposable cameras because that's it's available to you and then you discovering that there are limitations I thought that's a really special box of limitations and again not hi you're seeing the world's and making art out of something very every day not ideal really strikes me as on again it's for me not very much relates to the the art lice relation maths and life performance %HESITATION so there's a life nice there's a spontaneity to the photography and it's not planned date stash but you D. S. specific poetry poetry come see us in those races while Rory Burr evoking an image and repeating out into words some high so I'm really starting to see high at your images are poetic and not sunset if you know what I mean so so to me that's where it's autobiographical toy you say yeah that's helping you realize how you see the world so it's an official culture center it's a way of saying but it specifically your way of saying and that moment I thought time and not play yes and I think there's something really fascinating if I thought that's really worse delving into quite a bit well I hope a lot that I can get some sort of a transcript of our conversation what you're saying is something I would like to have and to go back to and I think it's very astute when I hear about elements of autobiography I changed things somewhat more narrow lead that you're because I'm not a documentarian and any way at all and I think that this question of how I see which of course then devolves to how you see or anybody else to see but that is kind of exactly what I care about think of a few more things to say about what you just said and one is that I always follow my own path and sometimes most of the time is able I think I just I think I can say at this stage I'm seventy eight that it worked out you know like everybody many a bump in the road but I have said well you know maybe I'll get an MFA in writing this is when I was in New York and lived in Manhattan for many many years before coming out west and well maybe I'll do that I'd already worked for some years in the quote unquote other non academic part of the world and I went up to Columbia and I sat in on a class and everybody in the class was looking toward the professor who is a very well known published horse and it seemed like we were kids and they were vying for his approval and they were competing against each other and I walked out and I had a sort of a modest migraine headaches on the way back walking to my apartment in the Upper West Side and I thought no just that's not me it's not for me I can't do that so I didn't something else I studied with one person publishers work I admired because I thought that his approach which was very straightforward would be very useful for me because I can get fancy I don't want to get fancy so everything is beautiful match and so there's no orthodoxy in my life which I realize religiously lately but it cuts to the next thing two more things one is the idea of starting an art form late in life which is what I did with photography because I love the way you're describing the spontaneity but I think that can only come at some level when you don't have a great big critics standing on your shoulders you know we've all had bad words listening tools and been in the world of art region for awhile and that that's really great about we live for you can just say okay I can I'll just do it I'll just do it I'm not going to subject it to a whole set of questions about whether I can whether Ryan from mission whether I'm good enough and that's really something I wish I'd known younger I think would be a great thing to have his young life your dog birthday but it didn't happen later and the last thing the third thing is I think a little bit of what you're talking about is what I love and think of in whole or treat whether it's one word or image or whatever and that's our world it's a show should emerge room not I mean I really love documentary work and being here it actually is a form of witnessing political and otherwise but that's not what I'm doing I'm going %HESITATION and without thinking a lot about it it's like yes this this is something that really I know it's in my territory and it relates to this and it relates to that none of which I'm thinking at the time but it's in a social way of being in the world and making leaps rather than logical connections so I think that's where that comes in from Israel Warrnambool many parts sorry not a toll no that's what we're here for it to talk all of this all right that's exactly what we're here for I just wanted to pick up on what you're saying obey this idea of being late in life in coming to some saying because I think this is something we need to talk about it more and more as a society really is what does that even mean to be are your mates career or emerging I really good friends of mine she said they no longer with us but she was in her seventies and she made this point to many many times that it's never too late to begin any art form and we're constantly emerging and evolving and becoming a hero so it it's a really interesting thing to say goodbye it's being late in life and the way it has this connotation alls I didn't come to the cinema and I I wanna just troubled out a little bit because I think will actually become the things when they're ready for them and then there shouldn't really be a timer I'm not if you know what I mean so I just sort of one that say click dot points a little bit because it seems like you've come see photography at a point where you were ready for it and it was ready for you okay and that was on your terms you know so I I just think you know that's really important so not going to go the pine trees don't have to dictate to me hi I'm Megan hi I create some high I see things and how may be in the world you know so I think it just made me think about I don't know if you have a response why do or should do should there's a really interesting article in the last month in The New Yorker magazine by the renowned and he's writing about how we broadly speaking obviously the west and certainly the United States as a culture we like to think well it's generation Z. your generation extra which we attribute certain qualities and by the same token he talks about well we like to think of the sixties and the seventies and characterized those initial your way but he was pointing out first of all with the generational thing shifts and changes and it's also a vast generalizations talk about well generations G. is more benevolent and more political you know it's it's just a way it's like saying I'm a writer as opposed to I'm a person who does many different things it's a way to have a handle on the world but it's not true handle at least that's what I feel very strongly reading him and I have felt it at all other times too it's a way of being read Dr of the complexity that is in the world there is this phenomenon that people of Britain about about late like Sri H. everything and isn't it interesting that Dillinger Corning had Alzheimer's and he could paint so wonderfully when it was in this whatever eighties years yes %HESITATION I can't so I think that's pretty interesting what drops away perhaps not that Alzheimer's is something one wants and that's not what I mean obviously but but that what drops away is I think a bit of what I was talking about earlier and that strictures that one is imposed on one cell and there is a freedom and %HESITATION what's greater luxury in life is there than to feel free and that's shared I think I am recognizing something that everybody recognizes especially if they're self reflective or or somewhere to almost intuitive and that is what they really are sh dangers that one has to recognize and I think for quite awhile now I'm gonna be very personal those of you who are listening and I feel like it you've got a lovely face and next a deal that I can be that but you're quite awhile through a complex of reasons parents home life whatever I wanted to be known and I wanted to have my work life or admired nothing is terribly wrong with that I was never any good at pushing my work in the world but it has itself gone into the world to one very small but real degree and it's been really didn't recently one of my books the archives for it was acquired by a %HESITATION wonderful our client is a great great pleasure you know it will go on but right now I am in the middle of another stage and I'm trying to figure it out when I say I'm the middle I'm you know I'm not I wouldn't either side but it certainly feels as though I don't need any of that M. at doing it and watching it is running counter to what's right for me now and I think Colbert played a big role at mac because for a year I was able and again please anybody who's listening I do know how unbelievably fortunate I was during this year and most people or not but I have an apartment I have dogs euro and in no way to consider equivalent shoes I have a husband I have a life that was to a large extent on zoom but the ability not the ability the freedom not to have to be social just to be quiet and go and look and read me back to what it was like when I was nine years old when I would check paper and pencil and whatever things %HESITATION option this monastery across the street from us I'm Jewish monastery have this tremendous a war because it was a miracle very beautiful S. self conscious about being Jewish in the middle of all of that but that's neither here nor there I was kind of exalted when I would go up there and that's what I was feeling that you're a collision that it was a return to that little girl and she's who I want now to get to stage I mean it's obviously I can't catch her again but I can look toward off happy finding her again so right now I'm involved in during a ceremony things to make the book happen in the world I've been walking macbook one Amazon of terror moving right along you know when I have some wonderful events coming up I'm doing a book signing at a gallery very good photography gallery a week from Sunday and they asked me who I'd like to be in discussion with and it was an easy answer but aren't one person said yes you read genius I think Antonio dimazio minerals scientist whose work is having rate really important to me and then we became friends so this that was a thing on top of batch so this is by no means a complaint what could be lovelier when sitting in a terrific gallery talking in front of people and exchanging ideas with Antonio dimazio so it's not a complaint it's a kind of we know what people used to go around with forked sticks looking for water dousing your no it's like I'm doubting myself she wrote that's a fussing about it cutting it and I really understand what you mean when you're connecting west that young version of yourself that still in there somewhere I think well maybe a lot of us have done not I. P. I hear about a lot of people discovering their inner child and dating it might sound strange but an acting styles parenting and trying to have a connection with their young south again so I really understand what you mean when you say that that's a lovely way to go up I did as well as wondering if we can talk about it by the technology because I think what's interesting here is almost a lock of tack and your photography and that's the point Hey it comes to mind as well you talk about eight the sense of freedom that you have and to me I think that our autonomy you have a choice to be autonomous and just folding lock back into the idea of autobiography and it being a bite the cells do you there south discovery happening here there's several action their self awareness happening you know it's really fascinating to hear that you're discovering a lot about yourself there's an emergence of yourself coming straight and not just yet S. C. H. but yet previous agents as well as she as you look back as well as in the here and now I am sick forward so there's there's really something and not I think but again I think just thinking about the cameras that you've been using so previously you've been using disposable cameras and may even then and she iPhones and I mean we very much associates the smartphone way taking self fees E. date out but in a very different way you know it's a very different way of approaching sells porchetta SLC or at marking yourself in the worlds marking your journeys you know the unplanned nature of your journeys I think and I've been walking when when you set and ready B. Weston's MHS and you start to recognize actually there's some patterns here there are different shapes that are emerging there's hi you like it hi space is taken up how you see yourself and reflective surfaces and you just might catch those you might see yourself an M. car window being reflected its or you'll see just a snippet of somebody going by on the skateboards and deal take a fractional image of that person or you'll see some water but through a hole in a bit of concrete you know it's how you frame sayings and and highly stylized exceeded as well by their relatively restrictive framing of the phone or is a disposable camera and you talk quite a bit of by each focused on high you don't actually have control over focus on its may be quite a flattened image and not sort of saying so again it's coming back said it's how you say but also we can't really change the focus of our ice you we see what we say and that's a bit like comedies communists C. as well they can't really do anything T. tactical with holiday see eyes are %HESITATION and G. ready if that was the human eye which I think is really lovely I think again you you're sort of back to basics what you're really pushing the limits of dot BSX technology if that makes sense I was wondering if you have any further sought some mountain what you're thinking it's a match and if that relates to anything else that's come up in your stinking sense there I do sure the first thing I just want to go back to the image of the US skateboarder which is just his legs in a window above because I just want to talk briefly about feeling the way that emotion becomes a feeling to be more precise and just re reading to Moscow because he was black I was wandering around and there's a large flows of nearby and even Google Tokyo downtown and there's the Japanese American national museum and then down this long sh it's really a pedestrian street but it's quite a wide one is usually on the contemporary arch and it's usually has lots of people and during colder there was nobody and when I saw the pair of legs on the skateboard first I recognized that it was a remarkable image because above that is glass that is should be reflective and it almost makes the upper half of him look not only is though he's only partially remember almost as though he's bursting into flames because of that kind of rate of goals of what some call him and then the strange brick subside it's Jeremy with the feeling was first and he's alone he's a skateboarder usually something which challenge some way in the context there was no context and so I just want to begin by acknowledging the something that I think is the spoken enough about in photography and that is the emotion of taking a picture of the feeling of checking the picture I think perhaps it's some not part of the tradition of straight talk or street which has been to a very large extent not completely by a long shot in the hands of men and I think men are not that comfortable talking about feelings that may be archaic so be it but I I do think it's time for that to enter into the world of singing the other thing is you know I usually very very clean I have read this respect for people who really are technically magnificent and there are a lot of them Mr tell your story and sometimes I prefer to say always confusing well not really a photographer %HESITATION an image maker because that die offs my hat to the people who work within the traditional exquisite means of photography and I do in a sense I mean there's a lot of composition is a lot of howling trolls there's a lot of juxtaposition over traditional elements of photography all the necessary ones I work with so it's not like I'm in nine weeks in World War during around going back briefly did the disposable because it has no direct the you know this you know because there's only automatic focus it took me away from the initial thing that photographers I've been trying to do with her and that is just say I'm like this I make sure I don't like this %HESITATION Blue Ridge and if you can't do that another world unfolds and that's everything in the frame being of equal value and although I am not a Buddhist I read a lot of Judaism and I think about this on my own practice it necessarily and I think it is a somewhat Buddhist approach to refuse the hierarchy of values that one can very easily holes in photography kind of comes with the territory the other thing is that when I was in college which I think that's a picturesque story but we will go next I studied philosophy and I'm still really interested in philosophy so when I saw those first images from the disposable not only did they interest me as images but I realize that a lot of those several things which I've mentioned minimum depth of field and focus I was getting something that I haven't seen before although I didn't think of it that way other people have said that because when you're working with reflection which I was there's always an option and free lander I mean these are great great show tiger first but you know where the photographer is you know he's standing somewhere and you see that imagine you do understand the space between the photographer and what he's looking at etcetera and what I saw I was getting was something that had none of that that's what I saw was this particularly since I had no strictures against brewer I loved it actually %HESITATION and I loved passengers and looking closely at complex emergency room health things in Japan a trait that I was involving a philosophy and it was philosophy about mind and abolished in a certain way politics because if you give up the idea of sharpness if you give up the idea that everything has to have enough facts a wind around ishe you find that you're giving up the idea that the world has to have borders and boundaries and you're also moving into a territory that says well I may need those borders and boundaries but my mind does need them my mind is porous and so I would have backed him not just your way of seeing but a way of being and that was really really important to me for quite a long time and again I think that traditional photography people don't quite talk that way and a little outside of the discourse and that's just fine with me going back to your earlier point it's it's a kind of freedom to come and say well yes senior yes streaming yes thinking it's all part of the process and so I really love developing what I'm telling you in two minutes which was in fact a number of years but those years the article was replaced by the digital I couldn't get things developed I couldn't get things printed so are you do you keep those should be optional I mean I'm not very technological I can work with the computer but I don't need to let my work and again that's not exactly anti technology it's not anti Photoshop I'd just like to work with how are you seeing drawback to your fridge and not try to turn it into something that exists between me and the world which is mine manipulation of the world that can be a bit naive sounding close you missing who may be interested in philosophy but it's also true I mean there's just some anyway sure at the level I'm talking when I thought should be digital I started with like an iPhone four year or we're not working with an iPhone and but I continue to get what I want with the new book I'm sure you've noticed a lot of the work isn't inter penetrating isn't forest isn't reflection and I we we have moved into a phase that shows I can have both I can do things that are more well this is what I see and more this is how white banks but many years ago a wonderful man who really cared about my work said Janet you really have to start with a better camera like bought a bunch of other people said it and of course the criterion is are you getting what you want and if I am which I am at this point why learn the whole apparatus of what is in itself a very technologically important art form it's not the way I won't watch that's a really excellent points and it strikes me as well that when you become reliant on the technology the technology does the heavy lifting you you're using very powerful cameras are you're working with different lenses and you're choosing a different lands it becomes stay apparatus that is forming a imagine you're really just pointing it out but it does all the rest of the work in a way and not to adults denigrate that but it's just not as you say it's not what you want that's not what you're looking for and there are lots of people like there he are doing that they're doing it extremely well and they're making incredible images like that but that's the thing it's you making it so it has to be in the exact medium that you want to need it today and I think there's a lot of the static value and that may be the last the end of the year with a sort of meds tack no it's not even low tack it's it's pretty decent stuff in homing iPhone cameras are incredible I think near the old iPhone I have is a Bascom I've ever had in my life he however I know that you know to me because I you know I I know exactly the sort of disposable cameras she you mean and I used it was a lot when I was a teenager you know and then the nineties and early two thousands but I lost a lot of static I actually really like the aesthetic of those older photographs and that sort of lower quality photographs I quite light this is very strange but I quite like odds to talk free inverted commas because they're something spontaneous about it there is something totally unique about it it's an image that's maybe on plans on there something actually quite unique and special about that that I find that's not what you're doing but that's just personal interest I just like that again the contingency of things I suppose on montages passionate about west and boxers the photography so they the more performative side effects so especially with I've been walking I mean what came first did she have the idea that you wanted to do the topic can it be a bike that same or was it you we are finding that you were just going walking and you risk taking photographs and it came from what you were just standing there actually but I will go back for seconds sure I think that what links the people who do this remarkably technologically advanced photographer I'm not talking the people who manipulate on talking about the ones who must cortical straight photography in what I'm doing is that the link is that were ravaged by the world were ravaged by color and texture then sometimes I'll show you something I wish I could think of a good example I think we'll get of my friend Joe and cellist who's just a master at on the textures what one of the things that classical photography on local vision is not classical it's very much your own and I look at I think that's so beautiful and it requires so much knowledge to do that this is not putting down my shelves and it isn't saying that I don't have the sophisticated change on the line I know the I can capture in my way the ravishing the ravishing interjection room color in the world I'm really just pointing to a link between low tech and high tech and that we're both using it I think for this since Aug warning to what's the word I'm looking for ravishing I think you saw the thing on century I write about something called the gas and you're out in the world and you see something and you're just now and are almost instinctive level this is it this is what you are my goodness %HESITATION yes gas click again between the gas and the collectors composition and other things to do some sort of self evident jester WYO that kind of came naturally so I don't want to make a large distinction other than one of honor and respect between the people who capture the world through very high degrees of technology and the very simple forms that I'm using because I think we're both responding to the world engine troubles in the same well I'm trying to recall because you were talking about several things one was the technological in a sense version mark I know you were not in again this simplistic respect but my really wanting to talk about donating %HESITATION but then you remember what else you were saying after that incident really yes there is a bit of a chicken and egg question is hi did depict come a bite sized thing so yes of course of course well you know again the word organic %HESITATION such a cliche but I do believe in it and they're very particular almost biological since your honor I started walking out and they started checking pictures and I got interested in them and I do what we all do which I just love and thats bring the stuff home look at it if you change promising think about it printed out of the home printer try it next other images tries you what they're saying is blue all that kind of thing and I do that every day now I realized pretty much every day that I was checking pictures I was posting them on Instagram which was a new thing for me and your %HESITATION world reckon it should empty shooting and sure people not bastard people should your unusual images and there could be a book sure that's when that became a real possibility as did something else and baggage the initial feeling that I'd heard of seeing emptiness and despair and as I write each are in the introduction to I've been walking the %HESITATION extinguishing of people's aspirations which has a particular product comes from because I've seen it in my parent's life all of that shock started to evolve and I didn't quite know what it was evolving churro just was taking pictures but then someone should remember right it's not so much emptiness and despair or whatever that you're seeing it's human traces in the middle of bash and that went %HESITATION yes that's right old so shortening project it becomes it becomes that's what I'm trying to describe I didn't say I'm gonna do a book about no no no no I'm not even a bomb distortion which is kind of went out there but it be changed again too or maybe repeat too much but we have seen during that time and then I didn't lucky in terms of my professional suppose I have to say career I'm not too fond of that word but it is a reasonable ordinance describe something special because good things have happened like %HESITATION someone seeing the war that person was from Germany she happened to being at my home %HESITATION she happens to be familiar with the world of photography we kept in touch she said I'd like to bring these images to a publisher they said yes and then that was in two thousand seven sixteen century never change and that wasn't the chamber I think they're really wonderful monograph we're wonderful people who I didn't know what was really exciting wrote about my work notably I will I will add distance one in Moscow and still thrilled with this association %HESITATION the director Graham vendors and I have his email in action above because Jones definitely a piece of good fortune but I. centrum work and he said yeah I can see my waiter writing about this and %HESITATION she's seen that book but it's on she arranged for page prose poem because the book is big and it's about seeing the child receive that about my work it's quite a thrilling piece with this book after I felt I had enough questions remember Justin that's J. publisher and they said yes who knows what makes the world turn one's favor or go the opposite direction but these are examples of that much and I loved working with these people and it was all between Berlin where they were insuring Los Angeles and so is all online on June June marvelous designer wear the same wavelength and the chamber production and editorial team could say to me things like well I don't think that's a strong and images that Michael %HESITATION yeah if you're right or no show we made a book we made a very short time a year and a month well all the chicks in the photographs were taken and all the production which which I think is kind of a record of Sir Arthur Foulkes extremist settlers I think it reflects perhaps the urgency and immediacy of that but yeah became a book wonderful that's scripted you've cultivated such a productive relationship then was a publisher that's pretty into here said John I mean I'm wary of keeping me any longer you've been so generous with your time and all of your ideas and everything just have to interrupt and say what's recently Grange is when you're given the opportunity to statements arts and be honest about them and in this particular sometime she wanted candy you know you say things you said before and obviously some of this I thought about that before but I do feel that in this particular conversation I said some things that were new to me which means I learn something so I have to just tell you that it isn't just general I'm sure of it %HESITATION that's really wonderful to hear okay that's great I'm I'm so glad that you feel comfortable enough and that you feel that you've learned something as well I certainly have learned things and not so what this podcast is all about is everybody learning things to her so I'm so glad that that's happened very late and we mentioned before is that we're really just scratching the surface I think here and I know you you need to go so you're so welcome back anytime I've loved this conversation I will love to have more conversations this year I think you're you're fabulous and I think you're working nights something in me at at night said intellectual curiosity that reminds me why I got into all of this in the first grade in addition if you re that's what you want I like your word I tend to think of inspire but I think it's not it's just a marvelous March and if we can do that for other people that's just great %HESITATION passing on the spark I will tell you I know myself very well I get absorbed and that means that I probably will not raise my hands and checked all what can we do this again but if you want to would you contact me and I will say yes in a heartbeat I'm just telling the truth about me because I don't just get absorbed absolutely okay will very quickly before you go I know you've got a website we G. just point our listeners to your website I'll get it in the show notes but if you just say it for them where can we find you online what a something first nobody knows how to spell my name right so I'm gonna %HESITATION stern Berger S. G. E. R. N. B. U. R. G. everyone I won't tell you what everyone does but I want planted in your mind but Bergesen shitty Star City is how it translates if you I kind of like that and because I have a hosted Mexico I sometimes want to say see ya sorry one meter or not you're still a bit one Nita Dane Estrella just see but I I like to think that we're thinking about manage moving back to so if you know that you can find me anywhere I have two websites one is for photography and it is W. W. W. if you want to think that way Janet Sternberg photo dot com Janet Sternberg photo is one word and it's your case and then I have another one and it's for writing what's surprisingly books and that one is W. W. W. G. Sternberg dot com so it's not hard I would have been nice Google Christian so I can be found on the writing website there's a link to the photography one why should one of these days we don't go back maybe yes maybe no so I am find a ball I would love to do phone by and large %HESITATION on the cryptocurrency website up at the top is my email and that's wonderful thank you for that well thank you so much for doing this and I think I definitely will be in touch as she possibly in the new year and to look at and say a lot more stuff I think I love it I love to do you know what you're doing and love to give you a loan New York I'm going to show you something no not really R. O. this year's cannot see this that one holding up is a plastic sheet of %HESITATION you know the kind of thing you can slip photos insurance your ticket nine half by elevens spiral bound and %HESITATION here it is holding it up and you know just which one selfish you know writes a little I don't know something it she says new also it exposed I'd been walking and so course I look at it and I'm trying to find out what it's about you will find its way all right lovely thank you Paula bye bye thank you John thank
transcript

Audiovisual Cultures episode 102 – Landing with Mariae Smiarowska

hello I am polo player and this is audio visual cultures this episode features a conversation with Maria it's Meryl scare that was broadcast live and you cheap on the thirtieth of July twenty twenty one I had of Maria's preparations for her online at in defense performances and titles landing the link is in the show notes if you'd like to view that recording as I explained in knots Maria it caught me just as I was about to take most of August off so we went life as a witness mandate she added and release this before the performances that took place from the twenty second to the thirtieth of August fi is same I attended one of those events and it's something that we talk about in the discussion as Maria was planning it all right at the time but it was very different being at a life's fringe events online mind it was interactive I often find it quite difficult to focus us nothing C. with Maria that's entirely to do with me because I was very aware of the same logic that you cast and being a mites amassed six slash workspace my mind was just racing with things I needed today and I struggle to see man's hand the present nice that Maria worked really hard to stop ash and her opening meditation I've seen Maria perform life before and I've been to many friends performances before so I tried my best to imagine those things combines and what was different though was that Maria it consciously incorporated the webcam I thought a very clever way often using her proximity to yet she changed a shot type she often went deep into her performance space at some points and she created an extreme close up one point on her eyes her production assistant that was present with her also %HESITATION please tell thing and pounding according to the various movements as well so the risk could use if the camera going on and that bonding performances landing involved spoken word song dance instrumental tracks pre recorded videos and some audience participation and combined auctions and answering questions and the charts Maria encouraged the audience to you consider what home means to us and whether or not we feel landed it so we went quite deep on some things and I think there was a degree of shared vulnerability and this virtual space Maria really lay herself bare in particular and talking three family trauma and her conflicted feelings Orion's please Simplicissimus displacement can come in the form of necessitate or for well on the surface seems like it's for the best but it is never easy media also %HESITATION Rimini adage on getting stuck in a solitary place as we entered into lock signs last year and she reminded us that it's not just humans who become displaced speaking to %HESITATION Redbridge cone that she find in Britain and I encountered quite a few red weights at National Trust places during may break and had been thinking about this is wild artifacts on the world's flora and fauna has created displacements in the natural world stage and sometimes for those of us with transitory lights this can mean that sometimes home it reaches us for good or for bad so there was a lot to think about it there with all of that in mind I am really pleased to introduce this informative discussion with performer Maria it's Meryl scam when the recording was over I find that the sign quality was pretty awful ands and balanced between S. and I wasn't aware that that was happening by recording my tests all signed it fine I think if maritime history I think my computer hardware is struggling the hardware in this computer has been breaking apart for some time as credit Franken sending machine at this point and I'm not no I would ask you to please consider supporting my work at Petri on dot com forward slash AP cultures or via the other links in the show notes for for your listening to this reviewing this because I Brady do you need to save up for some new equipment and that will help keep improving the quality of audio visual cultures and just keep me workin and just teach thanks to you special people like there he already do you support this show in various ways for night please enjoy this episode online saying with my very special guest Maria well hello we are very welcome to this life recording of audio visual cultures the podcast that explores different areas of the arts and media we're doing this life today because my cast has some really exciting show coming up in Edinburgh on the twenty second of August I believe and I'm about to take a bit of time off so we thought we'd just not just a window of time where we kids and do this video this morning so that and I'll be right there it will be available for people to watch ahead it's not true and then the audio edit can come by and a couple of months time so thank you so much if you're joining us on U. shape please do share this widely so as many people as possible can hear but it's fabulous yes Morales scare and her amazing show so some of the long hold listeners may remember Maria and her reading interesting interactive performance from the late show's episode back in twenty nineteen and I'm really thrilled to welcome merry at T. R. twenty eight twenty one remote for amounts to spring and then Maria to the stream nice very good morning Maria hi are you dating all right good morning Paula I'm well thank you how are you okay so I'm not too bad it's just still here here is it okay to ask where but she aren't the kids here I'd sites and an ex very interesting up there Walsall Knoxville nine island called St Martin's which is on the Isles of Scilly off the coast of Cornwall and I came here a couple months ago just a summer job and duration has it but I don't have indoor wifi based company %HESITATION outside my work here it is okay yes probably awesome well fresh air that skate office gauge symmetry at any a little bit faster time so would you be happy to just give us a bit of an overview of some of you reckon and we'll talk about your show sure I'm an international performer and Polish American and that all actually new castle M. thirty minutes ago hi merrily I've done theatre work rather than %HESITATION no more anything and I guess you could describe the work of Dennis is a co our mental work I work in a company called patches on their base I'm up in North America so that's also a very kind of visual goalie a look I love theater and I train with a company called undercoat it turned cold and is also very physical %HESITATION some bold divide your work yeah so I guess that's kind of my training where I come from and the physical collection device sort of process work yeah you're planning your show so it's on the twenty second of August is that right but this one %HESITATION great yes I've got one on the twenty second and the twenty third and then a code on the twenty seventh the twenty ninth and thirtieth and they're all live stream there's a plea at seven thirty PM that's brilliant that's created is there anything you can tell us apart it will my people extracts from Nazi thank you so with the one woman show it's something I've written and devised it's called landing and the thing of it is finding one's place on earth which I think is that a kind of a universal yet timely payments zero something of impregnating inside for many years now how to describe it it's a combination of poetry movement song we'll get a visual art and they'll be interactive elements as well that's how I want to try and create kind of an intimate interactive experience as much as possible budget yes %HESITATION beat via zoom and there will be the invitations to participate it's also the element of ritual which is something I've been incorporating into my work yeah I want to thank for now okay that's a really nice teaser here Facebook pages links and show notes people had over to Facebook follow Maria just while we're on that you want to point anybody towards your socials or website yeah I don't have a website as of yet but I do have an Instagram account which is my full name so it's merry S. mascot just all together and then I'm on Twitter but they don't really use it you can find by me on there Maria you are all one it's not W. S. one I think at the end date and there will actually be a Facebook page for the show it out which I mean to my page transaction so it is good to just fly close up just so that people know where to go so we can settle in a bit and take few minutes stand to talk about your work more generally and to say you walk tall people may come to expect from this experience and life experience some of your recognized before haven't on the digital sphere yes Sam certainly the life experience as I describe it I mean definitely interactive fun thought provoking and just what you were mentioning already here thinking about it life life on this planet since can you to question some things and think something sorry what about you yeah S. or anything you're more you'd like to slash I debate what you've done before well I think what I've done before sure it has but up to now but I feel like especially this show is my first original work really Holly energy a one woman show when I was very young as well which was an adaptation of the novel this is my first completely original work okay well I don't think you said our elements I do ask questions I'm not speaking to give answers that masking universal questions I suppose to get people to think about in this show specifically you know who are you what is your identity regardless of your culture or nationality and so on but also what does it mean to have a place on this earth and how do you find that is it something that you take for granted or is that a life long quest how does it look so it's something that I hope will appeal to many people I've actually done a few sharing of the work in progress over the last few months and gotten feedback very interesting but the people who've traveled and lived abroad and have the experience of being our incumbent quote but also people who just come from one place one small town for example on the Mike I'm this and for them it was also %HESITATION but interesting to broaden their horizons to go %HESITATION that applies to me too and it's interesting to see this other perspective so yes I like asking big questions it would be like to keep it entertaining as well obviously another thing that's kind of always drawn me to theaters the arctic aspect which originally was a part of a pattern so I guess that's why I'm incorporating elements of virtual now and going how can we maybe together collectively create a ritual that can be cleansing artworks evening in some way ask any of the questions that they bring up obviously from our past when I land %HESITATION there's a chance that maybe collectively do send your application if you well but also balance with lighter moments not all dark heavy you know so that's kind of what I'm looking at and I think the show is the beginning of of more research and work for the future but it's taking that question and looking at it now and then we'll see we'll see what other work comes future your question Paul I don't know waffling is automotive fights let me walk over as you're describing those things I am being transported back a couple of years to the late shows and share performance Sarah and how he rebuilt to get people drawn in so that performance I'm really interested in that element of contingency or for other people we're bringing when each other many because you can only plan so much with that sort of thing that's interactive and getting other people to perform something even if you're giving them the words because I remember having to read something I didn't get to sort of take an audience member and make them part of it make them performance I find that really interesting about your stuff meanwhile I'm going to try and recreate some about it my uncle digitally obviously it's not the same as live where you can have an immediate response if you will and you can contract obviously there's a bit of it's just a little bit different but I recently did a little work in progress during the month that goes by where for the first time I had a moment of improvisation while I was performing live with the audience who I could see you know that moment and that I was just so joyful and the feedback I got was like yeah we felt we were part of that as well and I like that I like creating that space and internet community for the duration of back and we're all a part of creating it together it's not just hello I'm a performer you know I I like to share I think something that's special and precious about live performance be it digital or live yeah I'll manage yeah I'm sure it would be great I imagine that because so many people in the arts has been a tough year and a half we've talked about this a little bit but have you find any other way he says adopting any plans that you had or are you for sure to be confronted with I'm not having a choice but to make online and that sort of thing highs topping three top anything open for anyone I was actually in isolation of Scotland %HESITATION about six months in the house by myself luckily I had good news tonight and so I was able to do a little bit of performing online a little bit of teaching you know running workshops and thank that only other hand in a way I found it in some ways liberating because I'm going to have bro while I'm on an island in the Atlantic and that's why %HESITATION that and and the hard to get my head around it but also very exciting I've got somebody producing will be in Africa during the time of the production and it's and my directors in Ireland it's just kind of also beautiful that I'm someone who's very international and I've traveled a lot and I've spoken to friends all over the world for me it's always been about you know other time zones and languages etcetera so it feels like the world is kind of stepped up to accepting that is more common than normal in every day and that excites me because it's just really creating that feeling of connectivity globally and %HESITATION I personally love that so in a way it is been liberating the strike while B. R. of your chili but streaming islands you they can go worldwide and research that I think is a worldwide competition and %HESITATION we're having an yes it's exciting it's exciting to have that but I performed live for the first time the other week here on the island we had a little open Mike at the cafe and actually there's a lot of performers on the Simon strangely enough and is the first time I perform live the new year and a half last time was in Newcastle actually enough and it was just so exciting for everyone just like all you know we have been sharing this moment an audience it's been difficult yet challenging but if we can find a way to have a balance in the future it's kind of interesting it does open up a lot of possibilities I know there's a lot of companies have in the states and in other countries you know who been working digitally already for years they were kind of ahead of the game a little bit if you will yeah it's an interesting chance yet like I'm saying I think it's about the balance not I want it all to go online forever no you don't but how can we find a way to maybe you know make a hybrid form or medium it's interesting that my it's been a learning curve I totally get what you're saying I mean that this podcast is become radio international because of what's happened as well so you don't get the same energy necessarily and it's harder to read body language and you don't have to assume that you know your your contingency becomes Willie internet works today as my computer going to burn out so absolutely what I was asking that because I'll be streaming there's only one island hall with good internet your oh my god we're who I know who would just fix of putting on here is very upset they so I went up and I said you know if it's good enough the internet and the answer I got was what prince Charles had a meeting there so yes prince Charles about it I can do it you got real greens and gymnasts on your side Maria quite a few bad experience will happen again but I've been doing it it's all part of it really and I think we're all just so you stay over and away you stay any life or any collect saying in that it's part of it now yes thank you thanks yeah but I'm still crisscrossed courage you got fights and that's five three good chances that it's gonna go perfectly more than one you're right okay would you like to receive updates thanks and special offers straight to your inbox and visit audio visual cultures tower presto com to sign up to our mailing list I'm interested and some of the scenes at your phrases file because that you talked about your rest chill and so much shows just digress just hear what we're doing right now having a conversation online so I'm in new castle you're in the city island Sir we're so far apart yep first beside each other on the screen and the rituals of joining these kinds of calls now I and so many of us have to say this is how you we've been meeting up with their friends and family and all of that so I wonder if there's a ritual and that capital our sense of it but then two smaller right chill since everyday occurrences those things have become habits and become normal that were normal before you know I wonder how much do you think will emerge in the show room so the even that hi this show is getting I. thirty people as part of her at Chennai in itself that's an interesting question I hadn't thought about the smaller rituals actually but you're right yeah because like I said I've done a few of the sharing is already online and I had someone to sell it taking them and that was like the whole ritual you came and there was a waiting room chat music you know and then obviously I was doing human aids afterwards so there's a whole brain work and it's funny that you ask that because I was talking to somebody else in London as well get a little sharing and %HESITATION and she asked me the whole process with the Mitchell and I was kind of like I hadn't thought of it that way but actually yes it is actually a student of the head of every step along the way of making this show and along with this year which came along and we kind of made it happen for me because I was suddenly ahead of time and space likely right now my focus is does this work it has been it has been a ritual so yeah pretty much every element of it is I have intertwined in that way which makes me think I need to make up more I think that even more or just maybe just you know more consciously not necessarily make everything right so that might be a little bit heavy you know bring that awareness to it so you just need to check out I don't really I like that thank you I just wonder if it's another way of linking to your past our engine has to be our more recent past linking east technological advances and the rituals around using them box three times hi these things and go I suppose I mean I don't know what you're going to say I'm just talking stuff I did see her perform what little I do you know of what I've seen of your work before work because I think wasn't a debate going to another planet the PC for %HESITATION you know see you've got that XPS three S. thing humming noise in the background to that idea of going to another planet but how you actually get there you know expose rituals of travel and things like that tonight will break traveling through our computers you know so this technological facilitation of being somewhere else society is coming right I hadn't thought of it as we started it this is going on it's no it's not a problem because you're talking about travel and that the idea of a journey of something that I do feel very central to my work so you mentioned we were going to another planet in the late shows her comment here I am thinking everyone on a journey through partly my life and then these questions if you will so and poetic non linear fashion yeah song movement ritual it's interesting when you say part what I'm very interested in semantic work as well so I'm trying to find a way to take ritual also Germanic ritual perhaps and blended into weave it into the theater work and hard to %HESITATION what I'm exploring the show as well as the land which is also in the title of landing do you have any meetings so it's also the land and the question of how the Latin speaks to us being human beings in a way it's a dialogue also with and I'm going how do I know I found my place the bland %HESITATION how communicated to me so that is something if you were definitely very ancient and something we've always had that I'm trying to access through ritual and performance and my own practice has been really about tuning into that over the last years just how do I work with that innate semantic performance is way rituals and ways of %HESITATION working artistically within landscape and then here I am pulling up outside most of the time which I had not expected at all I was like I'm gonna be in a black box theatre somewhere or even that living room where I was up and you know but now I find myself mostly outside it's interesting that that has arisen in a way and it's interesting that I'm really trying to work with the elements the Latin guy see the ocean I have here that when the sun the earth but I'll be online so it's what you're talking about is how to facilitate mother's dialogue what we're talking about the three D. and then the technological so then kind of finding that balance I'm really kind of about a %HESITATION I guess the way I would use this kind of sensuous experience in the sense that you feel that you put in your body in your skin and that's what's so beautiful about live events I think I've also always been drawn to that rather than well as you grow your breathing the same air and you're feeling the emotions kind of as they happen with what's happening on stage and then obviously there's an interactive element even more engaging and I love that that's what I've always talked about performance the content of the video of it in March yeah shivers you laugh where others lack active experience in %HESITATION of emotion which can also be very cathartic transformative if you %HESITATION sometime so how do I read that into this medium where things are flat or not three D. how do you how do I get your meal you know all these emotions but to see the gauge that you're feeling them not you're just not watching a movie happening but you're there live in your part of that as well and I I want to somehow recreate that and bring the men she was mad and experience into the digital realm I'm talking about going up to impossible to doing and sometimes I'm like no but that's the whole challenge and beauty of it is that had to be back people are like oh my gosh I was transported I was no longer in my living room I was there with you as they are yes it can work I'm striving towards how do we connect to our bodies you are this material may not need some way through this medium that we have nowadays the situation called this meeting to be so every day my long attempt toward Sir but I think yeah that's what I'm looking for that's what really excites me is just having not humana more than human experience the governor in a state whatever the space it's really interesting watching you talk I think it's being on screen so much we're having to rely more on earth station expressions on our hand gestures to the visual heavy lifting of communication so it's interesting watching you marking three ideas with your hands maybe Davison describing stuff like this while we're cut off from the chastisement but we still got our faces and our hands on our shoulders are maybe that's what it is it's transferring their performance from the parts of the body that we count Sadie channeling at some height and save the gestures and the smaller areas some are concentrated areas so that that just came to mind %HESITATION as you were talking about that definitely I mean I I know I talk a lot with my hands anyway I see yeah yeah but it does help the concentrated %HESITATION yeah yeah we love the idea of it thank you yeah it's just so I think that's it maybe that's how it's transferring is that because it was funny I recording I did recently was somebody rear talking about eight forty socks saying you know so you can't see that but the performers acting still fight with their bodies and not come three in their glory so I'm wondering if that's an element that helps it come across as well is connections read a voice and then if it's interactive and other people are able to join then and feel that they can start to move boldly and maybe that transfer student voices while something else some yeah it and it just reminds me of one of the first things a job I had as a teenager in the states and we were taught to not smile opponent because it comes through I remember learning that when I was I don't know fourteen fifteen and it's true you can't beat that and so it's this whole concept of embodiment I'm talking about which is so important as it does transfer it does transfer and even though I think a year ago we would have been like I think people are more used to it now right dancing together online for example you can still have the impression of either be it for like a party a celebration or something more organized a dance class or a %HESITATION I don't know if you know five percent dancing no no I don't it's like a movement practice where you go through what's known as a wave and you go through five different buttons it's usually consulted by someone anyway briefly so it's like a movement practice and I've been doing some of those online as well and they were you initially think are you know dancing in the streets one of my screen this is ridiculous hundreds of people like all over the world and you still get that feeling it's like we're not in the same room together but we're in the same zoom room and got the facilitator and and you can connect to other people if you want you can also hide yourself but there's also that freedom which is nice not everybody was like oh watch me that not everybody wants that but you can get the feeling of like there are other people on the planet right now dancing with me and we're all moving our bodies in the sea the same music and having our own experience but somehow we're connected you know it's the energy really it's about the energetic maxim that's the interesting and strange thing probably a lot more tangible in your in a physical space together can also experience at best and it's not like you think in a way I really do if you step out let's talk for a few days and you think about it like this is why %HESITATION %HESITATION %HESITATION on early and and we're able to do this and I'm gonna be doing a show and you will be able to see her mother right it's crazy it is magical and you can't do that then that's the energy and I thought about energy also read key practitioners working a lot better you're in a manic workable so energetic work and that's part of it I guess that sharing of that is making me smile as you talk about that because I think back in the order numbers somewhere no team just a few months ago my sense of time inside of walk April let's see autumn back in April I think it was there is a feminist Film Festival in Belfast called one day and I was able to go to a festival because it was a long line and they had a big rock party we did what you said we had is invesco and it was the best contact honestly and you think your mom my own them in the front room it's like a silent disco by myself but I'm with loads of my friends so I can't say and it was just class I was just the best fun you know and it was in our stage a he's living in England I was at I'm in England totally different cards regardless connection as we speak the language just as you were saying it was just so much fun didn't feel isolated and feel lonely was buzzing going to bed that night and for days afterwards you know it was just so much fun because I think in in a way when people come and say your body you don't have so many innovations nobody can say yet as he sang he can join in but you don't have to be on screen loads of this region recently saying the strike had little toe lace up I had a little toy a hold up and making it jumps to the catamaran people were wearing fake mosses masks and stuff and use it an artist a rebel fast he was going to pay Charlie Brian Maass masquerades headings Johnson right like that free agent you know so it's like that so yeah you do you get that connection and your %HESITATION performing it kind of ritual that you used to do in a room together and get sweaty and gross and horrible can it don't have to smell anyone it welcome bye have brought about by like that now well I'm glad you had that experience so you know what I'm talking about yeah exactly exactly and it works right you still need it and like you're saying it energizes you gives you something and I'm still connected and I think it's very very important part of the NY times just remember we are connected with the mental health and all that it's been very very challenging and %HESITATION I think I've always been drawn to this kind of idea of creating a community but right now even more so I guess it would bite lean pardon and so I want to be able to create that for a moment and we'll get you back to say that I get some hope and just to see where yeah we are all human and we have similar questions and feelings at such time and are you to share that and let that happen out and create space for that to happen written for me too obviously you know I do it because also I need it I can share that with others and create intimate moments of connection matters that are human and very beneficial in some way whether it's just being entertained and sharing the fun moments together one more thought provoking more cathartic whatever I think those moments of in kind terror as well because you don't necessarily know he's going to turn up for how many people are going to turn out and so those contingencies again but moments this connections re encounter and even if there's no %HESITATION touch but as you say you can have those other sensory experience history oral delivery of things because I think it's well there's probably a connection with oral histories and whereas they would have been passed online and been more cereal you can still be a serial but it can also be recorded and archived away this is going to be on the internet for who knows how long for example with say what you're saying I don't know if you record them or not but I guess not necessarily that will be nice and healthy and they're their own time I don't know what you'll do with top but have yet but yeah mmhm yeah I just thought ideas that you're in not moments here and not present mess with people and you're trying to be in the night and just be together at that time you know and I suppose it's a matter of focus because it's something that I guess a lot of us have been confronted with as well as hi many other sayings are going on on our screens incoming crescent but search screen on as in cold or something like that yes you know I suppose that's just more questions that are coming to mind okay well K. top and then the show maybe it's exactly that it's her innocence is something that is a camera there for that present moment you share it live here in an audience historically usually there's no telling it just bear in mind the experience I am and I think that's what's beautiful about it because you have a lot of on demand shows that have been created so that you can just click on by them and I have that option out there not the whole point is to help what you're talking about at the half that live experience as much as possible even though it's digital and actually I did try this little experiment where I had %HESITATION just for you know various reasons I couldn't perform the whole thing live I didn't have someone to help me technically so I did harden my sharing live and then I pressed play because when I did the rest from another previous sharing that I had recorded and the difference in people's memories to it was so interesting I was like it actually just answer the questions tangible different people like when I was there watching it and it was live and interactive and you know we were there with you I was really taken right and then it changed and it was just kind of like watching something I was like oh my gosh so that just confirm it's gotta be lied to me because of the nature of it and what we're talking about just that feeling of you are engaged in that moment by the late and there's that little risk because it's interactive there's always a little over a gun when I teach ins and I'm up on stage that kind of thing and you know an interactive shows so I'm making it a safe is obviously someone doesn't want to I'm never going to pressure you know whatever but there is that invitation and we saw a little and that's great because it's just like I don't want you sitting there watching you know going out or not it's like well no no this is life this is instructive I'm asking for a first sort of engagement I don't want to be just a passive you're consuming and more entertainment it's a little bit more than that great yeah you want to encourage active participation chest passes being of something and consumption but actually production from people and helping make the R. but because of that it's a collaborative thing it's not just managing the work the questions and like I said at the dialogue that we created together and it's like you were part of that dialogue and creation is well in the like what you saw today it was also like what everyone brought which is surprising thank god the whole UT a minute I wasn't expecting that answer or that kind of response and and let me get that it's like yeah so that was your part that was what you created what you brought and I want the same in this experience is obviously to help grow it grow it and it'll be different every time I like that element of surprise isn't isn't it because this is something I feared all my formative life like I want everything stroll because it's already so much going on and what you risk involved I really like things to be like I know I'm doing beginning and then there's no now I'm like no the beauty is in that proposition in the on the not knowing a risky element of bringing someone who I don't know in completely you know I'm an audience member or just allowing that space for the unknown to happen on stage and performance and I love that because that takes more trust it's harder in a way that is created and distributed across the state yeah yeah well that's okay you like it I don't know I think it's something that's like I'm not seeking protection anymore I'm speaking yeah I don't want it published in perfect we want to be alive and brought is not completely but you know have that new not not exactly right in a cross what I need yeah I think so yes I think so you can drive yourself mad to get everything perfect but then might people be more process because there's nothing making them think about it there's nothing taking the might of themselves for a moment I find anyway the artist and the imperfection the artist and the contingency whatever happens happens I think it's much more interesting than something being less polished perfect's objects because you can see the work and then you can see where people have tried and maybe it hasn't gone the way they they might have wanted or imagined but something happens and at school people thinking about something you know so there's definitely something I'm not I would say I think it's really brave performers make themselves pretty vulnerable I think I think any live performance even if it is super polyester you never know what's going to happen but when something like this right isn't translate to the absolute letter again you don't know what's gonna happen you know so I think it's incredibly brave some performers did that and then they they lay themselves quite paradoxically but I think there's the invitation then she the audience members to do the same you can be part of the same we can keep each other safe so that's maybe where that sense of community comes from exactly no it's very much what you said because many think about Leonard Cohen quote there's a crack in everything that's where the light gets in or the Japanese art and pasting the but you know what it's called the open like a vase only goal coming in and regulating it with gold I don't remember what that artist called but it's just the beauty of keeping the crack well even elevating members gold and stand out like your battle scars wearing one work hi exactly that is exactly what I want to create and that's shown I think in all my work really intimate vulnerable face I'm so afraid out it is so human and so vitally important everywhere in the world and and now I think in a way even more just come back here is out there and the sound a little cheesy but it's not it's really opening up about love and vulnerability that we all need and want to experience and share I'm talking about you know unconditional big capital L. love and having faced the state's right to do that might be saying take care of each other and not my mom and %HESITATION have you heard of the sociologist Bernie brown Renee brown is an American she's a Texan sociologist has written quite a few books one of her books have been kind of a company called braving the wilderness okay which to speak alone or something would be a yeah and they can sell so the cuticle had called about vulnerability which %HESITATION welcome the checkout our talk about the power of both of those yeah about all week yeah you know we got a strong we gotta protect ourselves in the backseat well in a way it's more resilient you know it sounds counterintuitive but to be vulnerable and open and to share your yourself more you know more authentically that's kind of where the connection happens in that auto connection is very powerful and I think that he may not like the little gold in the cracks a broken vase or not what we need but I am hoping to foster allow that to happen I thank myself quite so getting others to do that as well yes actually so I think if anybody is watching this and they're a bit on the fence about giving that a go I can assure you because I have participated in workshops and performances and Maria has been needing and I felt in very safe hands you I am super duper and your birthdate and I felt quite comfortable accede to join and then mark and and and make and our side of myself so I felt very very safe and comfortable and joyful actually today that was Maria so you'll be in very safe hands he please give Mexico thank you I'm really glad if you're interested in giving regular support for the podcast that aren't too keen on peach tree and I know I have membership options and buy me a coffee dot com forward slash P. eight there where you can get the same extras as well as some others exclusive buy me a coffee head over to buy me a coffee dot com forward slash P. eight B. LA bart to price membership options or drop a fiver into this charge thanks and enjoy the rest of the episode is there anything else that you'd like to say to protect people or anything we haven't covered I think we've covered quite a bit actually merry at sparrow scat thank you so much for this morning it's been great to catch up TV part of anything else already excited about the show and I hope it rain it goes really really well for you great thank you so much thank you for having me follow them updating you again okay ET okay folks to check out his performance and her other work currency speaking instincts I'm below so thanks everyone take care see you next time